Colts Will Rest Starters Throughout Playoffs

Colts Will Rest Starters During Playoffs and Super Bowl

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana, Dec. 28, 2009 - Coming off their first loss of the season due to playing their second string lineup, the NFL's Indianapolis Colts announced today that they would be sitting their starters throughout this year's playoffs and Super Bowl in anticipation of the title game in 2011.

The decision, which has stumped football pundits and angered the Colts' fan base, has already cost the team an undefeated season and a chance at NFL history. Most damning is that the strategy has backfired numerous times in the past.

Both head coach Jim Caldwell and owner Jim Irsay assured fans and the media that although the plan is not a popular one nor, perhaps, even sane, they know it is the right thing to do.

"We want to be sure to have our best personnel healthy and on the field for the 2010 season. If that means sacrificing a chance at NFL immortality and a win in this year's Super Bowl, so be it", stated Irsay without irony, "There are more important things to worry about than going in the tank for the Patriots or Chargers year after year."

News spread fast around the league as opposing players and coaches seemed baffled by the decision.

Baltimore linebacker/psychopath Ray Lewis, whose Ravens are battling for one of the remaining AFC wildcard slots, just stood shaking his head.

"Somebody get me my knife", Lewis snarled, "I'm gonna go shave Peyton Manning's pussy."

Comments

[Lance Lyle]

Dear Sir or M'am,

Perhaps they should have Manning sit out the entire 2010 regular season. Think how fresh he'll be for Super Bowl 45 is he's able to take a whole year off just traveling and taking it easy. His legendary intensity and attention to detail will be on a whole other level. WOW! He really is, to quote John Madden, 'a special player.'

Yours in scalding disdain,

L