MacGruber

There are often times when a film critic (and pretentious asshole) should just keep their mouth shut and not admit to what they're doing or thinking.

I was blowing a scabrous tranny on a wharf.

I am drinking PBRs before noon.

I never heed much of anything my loved ones say to me.

Some Like it Hot and Breathless are vastly overrated movies.

Eric Clapton really sucks and pretty much always did.

I'm thinking of voting Republican in November just to be part of finally burning this motherfucker of a nation to the ground.

And I just watched MacGruber last night and laughed more than once.

The history of Saturday Night Live skits transformed into full length feature films reads like a list of the dead along the roadside to Bataan. Skeletal, rancid, undernourished corpses that temporarily survived on personal will, oblivious to the American populace. When the atrocities were discovered, a newly developed American military force went over to punish the perpetrators. I fear our armies are spread too thinly nowadays to combat this cinematic horror. These crimes against humanity continue unabated under the totalitarian rule of Lorne Michaels.

I'll drop the hyperbole and be honest with you. I've liked a few productions featuring SNL actors through the years. Most of them were not directly related to a sketch on the show, but the talent was groomed there, so fuck it.

The Blues Brothers, Caddyshack, Tommy Boy, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and Neighbors all seemed inspired by the spirit of the show and included multiple cast members. But, as Yahweh preached to Moses when emblazoning the commandments into stone a few feet from him- "Avert your fucking eyes, Idiot", lest they be burned out of your head for things like Night at the Roxbury, The Animal, or, more literally, "don't fuck your neighbor's wife".

So, like I said, I was whipping my Filipino boy-slave for a misperceived slight involving mangos and his newfound desire to keep the TV on Bravo- MORNING, NOON AND NIGHT.

Naaah. I was watching MacGruber. And it occurred to me that this one note wonder is a little smarter in its dick jokes, nostalgia, crassness, vapidity, editing, use of entendre with the word 'cunt', satire, and execution than 99% of all other SNL skit-related movies. Will Forte may have something.

Which does not mean it doesn't absolutely blow. It just means I got through it with a bed of fettuccini Alfredo and 14 Pabst Blue Ribbons in my stomach without once kicking my cats, streaming Two Girls 1 Cup or lunging for the commode.  

There's some good gags. Which is more than I can say for the film careers of Tim Meadows, Rob Schneider (where's that "Copy Guy" movie?!), Chris Kattan, Gilda Radner, Jane Curtain, Adam Sandler (for the most part) and anything that got near Jon Lovitz or Dana Carvey.

Hell, even Martin Short couldn't transition to the big screen.

And Val Kilmer looks a tad puffy as the villain. Pssst, it might be the drink.

Forte at least seems capable of occasional parody. He's got the MacGyver thing, as well as an understanding of the humor of '70s soft rock. He protects the Blaupunkt, painfully screams to the skies in an overhead shot when an ally has been vanquished by his nemesis, repeats lame catchphrases, willingly offers himself as a multi-holed whore when threatened, and fucks those he loves like a selfish prick, both in and out of the sack. His hair is his most important feature and he treats Ryan Phillippe like a doormat (Why don't we all? Why don't we all?). The ever-weird Kristen Wiig tags along as his love interest and dupe. And for the life of me - the proceedings and humor are idiotic, noxiously repetitive and low brow - I love her in almost everything she does. She's strange and curiously funny/sexy, that one.

So let's come clean with our transgressions.

I killed a guy last Thursday for looking at me wrong at a stoplight and buried him under the ...

I watched a Will Forte movie.

There's so many things I should not cop to. They just tarnish my image. And freedom.

Comments

[M. Lars van der Cleven]

Breathless was pretty overrated. http://www.hisxpress.com/breathless-tm-dvd.html

[C. Adolph Moores]

Zounds, Sir! That looks like a classic indeed.

[M. Lars van der Cleven]

Yes, the straight forward, raw, visceral direction puts one in mind of Peckinpah and is accomplished mostly with a liberal use of sawhorses.

[C. Adolph Moores]

... and jackhammers I imagine.

[jjmitch21]

Here's a couple of SNL inspired turds for you: "The Coneheads" and "It's Pat." There are many, many more.