Day the Earth Stood Still, The (2008)

We have all been there. Whether it's for a mandatory business lunch or a regrettable decision to meet friends for a happy hour and ensuing dinner. At one time or another we have been forced to sup at one of those middling eateries (Bennigans, TGIF, Chilis, etc.) that specialize in that peculiar brand of American cuisine that believes anything, ANYTHING is edible if it is dredged in bread crumbs, fried to rigidity, blanketed by cheese and served with a variety of dippin' sauces.
The cinematic equivalent of that puzzling comestible is the 2008 remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still.
The first bite goes down rather easily, but about halfway through you start to sweat, become grotesquely full, ashen, uncomfortable and, by the end, are likely to be sick when you reach the parking lot.
"Awesome Blossoms" and Keanu Reeves can do that to you.
But once in a while the food is palatable, tasty even, in small bites. You start wondering what you were so worried about. It's quite nice actually, once you drop your life-negating cynicism for a moment and lighten up to the idea of crispy Texas chili cheese fries and Jennifer Connelly's tits.
Life isn't all bad.
And neither is this remake. At times it is downright clever and engaging.
I believe it is also historic in a casting sense. Reeves plays a hyper-intelligent extraterrestrial being and Connelly is an astrobiologist. Never, in the long and grand tradition of the American cinema, have two actors so dumb played two characters so smart.
Intellectual disparity like that has not been seen since the omni-dense Mark Wahlberg faked his way through the role of a high school biology teacher in The Happening. Or perhaps since Madonna played herself in Truth or Dare.
The remake does not veer far from the original in its construct but there are a few fundamental differences. Klaatu is an alien who resides in a human form as opposed to consisting of one. The spaceship from the 1951 version has been replaced by a glowing orb meant to portray the more environmental approach to intergalactic policing that Klaatu’s race now practices. The threat of mankind’s nuclear eradication has been replaced by its lack of ecological sustainability. The Cold War for The Green War as it were. The anti-violence message is still there, but reduced to Klaatu’s side observations of man’s belligerent behavior in all aspects of life.
This eco-friendly alteration rids the original story of its notable philosophical flaw; the hypocrisy of an alien race threatening the earth with violence unless it stops its violent ways. Sounds like the diplomacy of the U.S. of A. without the “hyper-intelligent species” bit.
Nor does the annihilation of humankind come from the threat of laser weaponry in this version. Swarms of continually spawning, compound eating bugs are unleashed to devour all remnants of our existence (stadiums, freeways, plastics, dams, jalapeno poppers, etc.), including us. A far more suitable demise than just being blasted with a laser cannon.
Also, Gort, the indestructible robot Klaatu uses to intimidate the humans, has become significantly larger and seriously more badass.
There are still some major problems not addressed in the latest version. Klaatu’s unemotional assessing of earth’s fate would not be swayed by a tug on his heartstrings. For all the science the movie purports to believe in and relies on, it still keeps many religious metaphors and references from the original. Particularly the “Klaatu as Jesus” meme.
And worst of all, they did not trade up on (or dismiss) the role of the heroine’s son. Adding insult to that injury is the fact that the kid is played by Will Smith/Jada Pinkett’s child, Jaden (what a sissy, shit name that is). He is awful. Just like his father. It is altogether disheartening to see the second stone laid in the erecting of that career arc.
Hopefully, an alien race will come down and save us from the nepotism of the Smith family.
So, the cinematic Applebee’s experience tacked on a bad dessert, nearly ruining the meal. But I’ve had worse. And for a reheated entrée, however lukewarm and stale in parts, there were some tasty morsels.
Gee, these food metaphors are easy!
Now pass me that remake of Logan’s Run, I’m still a bit peckish.

Comments

[Pookiebeyond]

Snacktastic!

Funny and - due to the frighteningly, corporately driven perfect mediocrity of anything birthed from the kitchen of Applebee's, TGIF, etc., your review made all kindsa sense. PB