Donner Party, The

Many often speak of the indomitable spirit of man and the inherent decency of humankind but who here among us can honestly claim they haven't sated their hunger at least once upon the delicate flesh of their fellow humans?

Really? That few? I see. Perhaps I've spoken out of turn.

Let's instead veer the conversation into a variation on that theme and discuss the latest dramatic interpretation of America's favorite cannibals - The Donner Party.

As I've argued for decades, through interminable zombie fests and unpalatable European gore flicks, you cannot make a quality film about the consumption of human meat unless it has Crispin Glover in it. Despite never having appeared in a cannibal movie (well, there was that one campfire scene in Dead Man, but he was gone by then) Glover seemed a natural to me in capturing the essence of the windigo and, of course, acting totally maniacal and bugfuck crazy while doing it. The man do specialize.

For the historically retarded - The Donner Party was a large group of pioneers from the East who wanted to move to California. Nine wagons filled with 87 people (32 of which were members or employees of the Donner and Reed families) set out from Independence, Missouri on May 12, 1846 to cross into California over a new cutoff route planned by Lansford Hastings. Problem was, Hastings had only crossed it once himself, without wagons, which mired the Donner-Reed Party in the sands of the Great Salt Lake Desert and ultimately stranded them in the snows of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. The encampment they set up in October to ride out the winter became the gruesome backdrop for madness, starvation and cannibalism. It wouldn't be until February of 1847 that any successful rescue attempt was made. Of the 87 original members of the party, only 48 ever reached California.

Now, you'd think a storyline like that would be good enough for most screenwriters to churn out a pretty respectable and accurate historical retelling with all the intrinsic tragedy, drama, courage, perfidy, death and meal choices already spelled out. But writer/director T.J. Martin can't leave well enough alone. He takes a small facet of the story, the doomed rescue expedition of "The Forlorn Hope" and creates a small ensemble piece out in the woods - neglecting the heart of the story of the original journey and the privations at the winter camp. It speaks well of Martin's frugality and his ability to seek greater truths out of a microcosm but, with this approach, the story of human struggle and survival in the brutal wilderness unfortunately reduces itself to the depth of a $300 acting seminar in a strip mall in Van Nuys. Glover does his best to hold it together by channeling some Kinski from Aguirre (especially his close-up turns directly in front of the camera) but even Crispin's eccentricities seem dull and smothered throughout.

The cinematography by Seamus Tierney is quite effective but Martin, although wisely keeping his first directorial effort as minimalist as possible, seems well in over his head. He takes one of the more horrific tragedies in America's storied past and decides to write his own (inaccurate) dramatic turns into it. Why fuck with alchemy when you've already got gold? His previous gig was as an art department production assistant on 2003's Holes which raises the question: was the caterer unavailable to helm this project?

If you're going to rewrite history anyway, get creative. I mean, "The Forlorn Hope"? Seriously? Quite the downer. The Donners should have eaten the PR person who came up with that clunker first. Let's get the asses in the seats, People!!! We're not getting our five minutes on Oprah with misery like that.

How about "The Bold Initiative"?

Or "Operation Cannibal Freedom"?

Or "Donner Party 2: Flesh Island Hawaii"?

Or, perhaps, "The Donner After Party"? A little industry insider pun.

Somebody get me one of the Weinsteins on the horn. They'll know how to market this dog.

I suggest watching Ric Burns' hauntingly brilliant documentary The Donner Party for PBS' The American Experience to really get a sense of the human drama of the story.

Comments

[jjmitch21]

Hey Dude,

Please don't slight "Holes." All my middle school students loved it. I really didn't mind it much myself either. Real teaching takes effort.

[jjmitch21]

I have now seen it. It did rekindle my interest in the true history of this story, which is very interesting.

The Forlorn Hope? How about "The Purloined Femur?"
Crispin Gover's recent acting resurgence is probably a good thing.

JM