The bright light of the sun silhouettes Bill’s figure against the backdrop of the doors. He walks forward into the light of the building, sweating and exhausted. Puffs of pink spray mist him and he looks for their source. A subtle, near subliminal disembodied voice (VOICE) speaks.
VOICE (O.S.)
Welcome to The Mall Of The Universe. Please continue shopping. Spend. Purchase. Procure. Credit is available.
Bill looks around the throng of other people but no one seems to notice either the voice or the pink mist. He looks further down the wing of the mall.
On either side of the building, stretching for eternity, are shops, stores and eateries of every possible type.
The mobs of people are of every ethnic background and class. They all carry shopping bags full of goods. The majority of them are talking on cell phones and eating.
Children are everywhere. They too carry shopping bags and are stuffing food into their mouths.
Most of the children are speaking on cell phones as well.
The large din of voices from so many mouths creates a low drone which permeates the entire area.
Bill is awestruck. He looks around inquisitively, then heads into a “Sharper Image” type store.
All sorts of innovative, worthless gadgetry surround him and he approaches the clerk (CLERK #1) behind the counter.
BILL
Excuse me. Hello. Could you tell me where I might find Harlingtons?
CLERK #1
You have to buy something first.
BILL
No, no. I just need directions. I’m looking for a store called Harlingtons.
CLERK #1
Sir. I cannot give out that information unless you first purchase something from our store.
Bill is incredulous.
BILL
Are you kidding me? Oh! I get it. (LAUGHS) Good one. You almost had me there. Uh, Harlingtons?
The clerk stares at him blankly. Bill is now angry.
BILL
I don’t have time for this shit right now. But I’ll be back for you, you little cocksucker. Your manager is going to hear about this.
The clerk picks up a phone and begins dialing. Bill storms out. He looks back at where he originally entered the mall but it has become a Starbucks.
He looks curiously at it for a moment then turns and heads down the mall.
Small kiosks separate the walkway, selling jewelry, cell phones, purses, vinyl siding, vanity license plates, framed prints, etc.
As Bill comes to the center atrium, a small boys choir is SINGING “It’s A Small World” in soprano voices. Next to them is a fountain with many coins filling the bottom. A sign in front reads, “TOSS IN A COIN AND MAKE A WISH”. The CATERWAULING of the choir continues the chorus of the song.
BILL
Yeah. But it’s a big fucking mall.
A small boy (BOY) with a shopping bag holds hands with his mother near to Bill.
BOY
Mommy? Why doesn’t that man have any products?
The mother leans over to the boy and whispers in his ear. The boy points at Bill.
BOY
You’re poor! You’re poor!
Bill reaches over and grabs the child’s bag. He throws it to the floor and begins stomping on it, crushing the contents under foot. The boy wails. The mother grabs the boy’s hand in fear and trots off with him in tow.
Bill frantically makes his way into a toy store. He brushes past the line of woman and children and appeals directly to the clerk (CLERK #2).
BILL
Excuse me. Do you know of a place called Harlingtons in this mall?
The clerk looks at him, puzzled.
BILL
Harlingtons. It’s a department store. Somewhere here in the mall.
CLERK #2
Sir. These people were ahead of you in line. I’ll have to ask you to wait your turn.
BILL
Yes, I know. But I’m not buying anything. I just want to know where-
CLERK #2
You’re not buying anything?
BILL
No. I simply want-
CLERK #2
Then I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave or wait your turn.
BILL (RESIGNED IN ANGER)
Okay. I’ll wait.
Bill heads to the end of the line and fumes quietly. He impatiently watches the first transaction progress slowly. The choir outside has begun SINGING, “Hakuna Mutata”. He rolls his eyes and exhales.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT-TOY STORE.
Bill is next in line. A fat woman and her fat child leave the counter.
CLERK #2
Thank you Ma’am and have a great shopping day.
The clerk’s plastic smile fades as Bill approaches.
CLERK #2
And what was it I can help you with Sir?
BILL
Harlingtons. Where the hell is Harlingtons?
CLERK #2
I know of no Harlingtons in The Mall of The Universe.
BILL
Then is there an exit nearby?
CLERK #2
A what?
BILL
An exit. A way out of here. A release from this ghastly place.
CLERK #2
Why would you ever want to leave this place, Sir?
BILL
Certainly there is some sort of back door where you receive shipments or whatnot. I could just slip out. I won’t bother a soul.
CLERK #2
I’m not sure I quite understand. You (PAUSE) you want to leave the mall?
BILL
Yes.
CLERK #2
But no one ever leaves the mall. Why should they? Everything is right here.
Bill looks at the clerk oddly and begins backing out of the store cautiously. He is confused and a bit frightened. He walks into the store next door. A beautiful young woman (WOMAN) greets him. He smiles.
BILL
Could you help me? I don’t seem to be communicating very well today.
She smiles toothily at him and sprays his face with a blast from a perfume bottle.
WOMAN
The earthy yet feminine scent of “Rumor” is sure to be a hit with that special lady in your life.
BILL
You dumb whore! You blinded me!
Bill staggers from the store, rubbing his eyes. He blinks rapidly and regains some sight and composure. A small balsa plane swoops around his face and disappears. Bill is stunned.
SALESMAN (O.S.)
Isn’t that amazing?
The salesman is holding the airplane in his right hand. He is looking directly at Bill.
BILL
What?
The salesman throws the plane again and it curves around Bill’s head and returns to him.
BILL (ANGRILY)
What are you doing? Don’t throw that fucking thing at me again.
The salesman hurls the plane again. It loops over and past Bill’s head and returns through his legs, directly back to the salesman.
BILL
Look Paco. I’m in no mood right now. I’ll shove that plane so far up your ass they’ll be removing balsa from your colon.
The salesman smiles at him and readies the plane for another toss when the mother (MOTHER) of the boy whose bag Bill crushed runs up and points at Bill.
MOTHER
That’s him! That’s that awful man!
Two mall security officers jog up to Bill and zap him with a taser. He crumbles to the ground. They each grab an arm and pull Bill, heels dragging on the waxed floor, across the mall.
Bill regains awareness as they pull him past the boys choir, who are now singing “Be Our Guest”.
BILL (SCREAMING)
Will you please shut the fuck up!
Bill sees the fountain sign again, “TOSS IN A COIN AND MAKE A WISH”. The disembodied voice rings in.
VOICE (O.S.)
Welcome to The Mall Of The Universe. Please continue shopping. Spend. Purchase. Procure. Credit is available.
The larger of the two officers reaches down and zaps Bill again.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT-INTERROGATION ROOM.
Bill awakes hazily. He is sitting in a wooden chair in the middle of an empty room. A naked light bulb hangs and glows from a wire in the ceiling. The two officers (OFFICER #1 and OFFICER #2) enter. They each circle him slowly. They speak in the clipped tones of Jack Webb on “Dragnet”.
OFFICER #1
Did you think you’d get away with it?
Bill looks up at him.
BILL
I just wanted to pick up some stemware.
OFFICER #2
Yeah. At Harlingtons, right?
The officers look at each other and laugh.
OFFICER #1
Problem is (PAUSE) there’s no place called Harlingtons. Now just how stupid do you think we are?
BILL
Well. I’m guessing college was pretty much out of the question.
OFFICER #2
That’s not funny. Did you think that was funny, Ed?
OFFICER #1
No I did not. Why’d you stomp the kid’s bag?
BILL
That was a mistake. I’m sorry. I’ll be glad to pay for any damages. Or replace the items. Whatever it takes.
OFFICER #2
Can you replace the trust that boy lost today?
Bill is silent.
OFFICER #2
I didn’t think so.
OFFICER #1
And what about the customer service people you harassed? They’re just trying to do their jobs like everybody else.
BILL
I was, perhaps, a bit rude. But I just wanted to leave. No one would tell me how to get out of here. There seemed to be a problem with, simply, leaving.
OFFICER #2
Now that’s funny. Isn’t that funny Ed?
The first officer glares at Bill.
OFFICER #1
Yeah. A real stitch.
OFFICER #2
We’re going to have to see some credit cards.
BILL
Don’t you mean ID?
OFFICER #1
Credit cards. Visa, Mastercard, Amex, Diner’s Club.
BILL
What about Discover?
OFFICER #1
We don’t take Discover.
BILL
Look. This is ridiculous. Let me give you some money for the kid’s stuff and I’ll apologize to the clerks and then you can just send me on my way. I won’t come back. I promise.
OFFICER #2
You really don’t get it, do you Slick? Let me make this perfectly clear.
The officer bends down and whispers something in Bill’s ear. The officer eases back and smiles darkly. Suddenly he falls to the floor with a THUD. The other officer runs at Bill but he lunges out of the chair and tasers him also. That officer falls to the floor, trembling.
Bill runs out of the room and back into the mall area. The same constant bustle is there. The choir is singing The Mickey Mouse Club theme song. Bill looks at the sign in front of the fountain. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a penny.
He tosses the penny in. He follows it by swan diving into the fountain. SCREAMS come from the female onlookers and the choir stops singing. The waves in the fountain subside.
Bill’s body has disappeared.
CUT TO:
INT-FOUNTAIN.
All is complete darkness except the illuminated figure of Bill, gracefully floating down into the dark depths. All around him dimes, quarters, pennies and nickels cascade and flutter. They twinkle and gleam in the darkness as they spin around Bill in his slow descent. He twirls once in the water and rests on his back. Above him the coinage continues to float down in a beautiful pattern. His eyes remain unblinking and a small, knowing grin stretches across his face. He disappears in the blackness.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
THE MALL
FADE IN:
TITLECARD.
“There are many things that we would throw away, if we were not afraid that others might pick them up”
- Oscar Wilde.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT-BEDROOM-MORNING.
A man in his mid thirties (BILL DOLLAR) rolls over in a king size bed and yawns as water RUSHES in the background.
CUT TO:
INT-BATHROOM.
A woman (BRENDA) of approximately the same age turns the bathroom sink faucet off. She is dressed in a knee length skirt, hose, heels and a bra. She primps her blonde bob cut in the mirror and walks to the bathroom door, folds her arms and leans against the jamb.
BRENDA
Promise me you’ll go find a job today.
CUT TO:
INT-BEDROOM.
Bill turns over in bed to face her.
BILL
I have a job.
BRENDA
Projectionist at a porn theater is not a job. It’s a diversion.
BILL
It pays the rent.
BRENDA
No. I pay the rent. You blow your money on cigarettes and vodka.
Bill rolls over to avoid her. Brenda sighs, walks to the closet and puts on a shirt.
BRENDA
Look. I don’t want to fight. I’m sorry. Please remember to pick up the anniversary gift for my parents. Please do that today?
Bill rolls back over to face her.
BILL
Where is it?
BRENDA
It’s the set of crystal stemware at Harlingtons.
Bill crinkles his face in mock agony.
BILL (WHINING)
Aw. Come on. I can’t go to that fucking marketplace.
BRENDA
It’s the Mall Of The Universe. And its one of this city’s points of pride.
BILL
It’s a goddamn amusement park. You need a three day pass just to get from one end to the other.
BRENDA
It is a total shopping experience.
BILL
It is the Bataan Death March of consumerism.
She smiles at him.
BRENDA
Nevertheless, I need you to pick up the gift.
She bends down to kiss him on the cheek. He puts up a protesting hand.
BILL
Morning zoo breath.
She lowers his hand and kisses his cheek.
BRENDA
Thank you. And if you have time...
BILL
I know. A job.
BRENDA
That’s my good boy. Got to go or I’ll be late for work.
She pinches his cheek, spins on her heel and exits. Her heels CLACK on the tile floor and a door opens and shuts. Bill rolls over again and mutters.
BILL
Fucking stemware.
He pulls a stray pillow over his head. He coughs, moans and darts up from the bed. He heads for the bathroom. His small, hairy belly sags sadly over the elastic of his boxer shorts.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT-BATHROOM.
Bill stoops over the bathroom sink and spits out a mouthful of toothpaste and blood. A radio (ANNOUNCER) on the counter blares an advertisement.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
...and if you’re headed down to the Mall Of The Universe this afternoon be sure to catch the Young Christian Choir of First United Baptist as they sing a selection of their favorite Disney songs for a whole three hours. That ought to take the sting out of the shopping day, eh Wayne?!
Bill lunges for the radio and pulls the cord from the outlet.
BILL
Oh, my living Christ.
CUT TO:
INT-HALLWAY.
Bill is dressed in jeans and a tee shirt which reads “Slokum University Ingots” in bold red letters. He reaches down to a small table against the wall and pockets his wallet. He picks up his keys and exits out the front door.
CUT TO:
EXT-DRIVEWAY-DAY.
Bill approaches his car and unlocks it. His next door neighbor (STAN) is dressed in a business suit and is getting into his car some twenty feet away.
STAN (LOUDLY)
Hey ya Bill! Off to work?
Bill grimaces and turns reluctantly to Stan.
BILL
No Stan. Headed for the mall.
STAN
The Mall Of The Universe?
BILL
Yes Stan.
STAN
Why you lucky S.O.B! Haven’t been myself yet. Hear it’s quite a sight. Helen took the boys last week. I’ve been hankering to do a bit of rock climbing at that indoor facility they got there. Sounds crazy, climbing rocks indoors but what the hay, right? Got to keep-
Bill gets in his car and shuts the door in Stan’s mid sentence. He starts the engine and backs out of the driveway. The mailbox at the end of Bill’s driveway reads, “The Dollars”. Stan looks on with a bewildered grin.
STAN
Working hard or hardly working.
Stan enthusiastically enters his car.
CUT TO:
EXT-SUBURBAN STREET.
Bill slowly drives his Chevrolet Cavalier down a residential street. He is grousing under his breath as Bob Dylan’s “Shelter From the Storm” PLAYS on his CD system. He begins singing a few lines in a nasally impersonation of the singer. He suddenly slams on his brakes.
BILL
Fuck me!
An elderly woman dressed in bright orange polyester pants and a blue knit top is crossing the street in front of him. She pulls a large poodle on a leash. As the dog passes directly in front of the car, it squats and lets out a large bowel movement. The woman claps appreciatively and waves at Bill. He smiles and waves condescendingly. The dog darts off toward the woman and Bill pulls away down the street. The bowel movement remains in the road.
CUT TO:
EXT-HIGHWAY ON-RAMP.
Bill maneuvers the car to the right turn lane for the on-ramp to a highway. In front of him is a large semi hauling a prefab house on its trailer. A banner draped across the back of the home reads, “DANGER WIDE LOAD”. The semi moves with slowness up the ramp. Bill is fuming. He darts out onto the grass shoulder and speeds around the truck. He awkwardly swerves left into the traffic of the highway and many SUVs and pickup trucks HONK at him.
CUT TO:
INT-CAR.
BILL (NERVOUSLY)
Okay. Okay. That was dumb. Sorry. Sorry. Let’s keep it together here. Nothing to see. Nothing to see.
A State Trooper pulls in behind him. Bill sees him in the rear view mirror.
BILL (VERY NERVOUS)
Oh shit. Oh shit. Nothing to do with me. Keep on going. Law abiding citizen in this car. No priors. Clean record. Keep on going. Drive casually. Sing to the music.
The trooper changes lanes and speeds by him.
BILL (RELIEVED)
That’s right. Just going to the Mall Of The Universe, Officer. Getting some stemware. Keep up the good fight.
Bill exhales heavily and drives on.
CUT TO:
EXT-HIGHWAY OFF-RAMP.
Bill drives the car up an inclining off-ramp and, at the peak, an enormous mall comes into the vista. It rises and grows as he nears. It is colossal. An airport with passenger jets arriving and departing is on the right of the huge structure which extends for miles on the horizon. The parking lot at its front is the size of ten football fields and becomes even larger as the left side of the mall comes into view. High Roman columns adorn the front entrance.
He veers into the lot and finds a place at the very rear, farthest from the entrance. He pulls the small car into the space and it becomes dwarfed by the myriad of SUVs surrounding it.
He exits the car and begins plodding toward the front entrance.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT-PARKING LOT.
Bill is plodding onward. Only SUVs are seen occupying every parking space. He is sweating and tiring.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT-PARKING LOT.
He is closer to the entrance but is still far from reaching it. A vendor (VENDOR) is selling bottled water from a push cart in one of the aisles. Bill scuffs his feet over to it.
BILL (RASPY)
Water. Please, God.
The vendor smiles broadly and pulls a bottled water from his cart.
VENDOR
That will be three seventy five please.
BILL
Three seventy five?!
VENDOR (CHEERFULLY)
Yes, Sir.
BILL (DESPERATELY)
I (PAUSE) I must have water.
VENDOR
For three seventy five I can sell you this water.
Bill sags his head in defeat. He pulls out his wallet and removes a bill. He hands it to the vendor.
VENDOR
Out of five.
The vendor hands Bill the water. He twists off the cap and slugs voraciously from the bottle.
VENDOR
And one twenty five is your change.
Bill cannot speak. He waves his hand at the vendor to keep it as he continues to swig. Bill lets out a satisfied breath.
BILL
Hell. You keep it. That’s the best fucking water I ever drank.
VENDOR
Thank you, Sir!
Bill begins the long walk again.
VENDOR
Water! Cold, icy water!
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT-FRONT ENTRANCE.
Bill looks up at the tall columns and shakes his head. He enters through the automatic sliding doors.
CUT TO:
INT-MALL.
To be continued tomorrow when Bill confronts the mall's inescapable evil.
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