Inauguration 2009

Inauguration 2009: Brother from a Changing Nation

I thought I’d wait a day to comment on the inauguration. To let high running emotions come back down to earth. To stabilize my own perception of what the day meant to me and this country I call home.

To enter into sweeping, hyperbolic rhetoric on what may be America’s most important day since June 6^th, 1944 before getting a handle on the events, times and national mood that brought us here would be negligent at best. At worst, downright unforgivable and punishable by shame, scourging and exile.

Oh, how I wish the networks believed that.

Tell you what though, I’d sure like to shame and scourge that Campbell Brown if you know what I mean.

I seem to be getting off track early here.

Ah yes, Obama. First African-American President. Culmination of all the… Never thought I’d live to…yadda, yadda, yadda.

Are you kidding me?! It happened!

I’m still pinch-able in disbelief.

That’s the real reason I never wrote anything after the election. Why I waited until today to speak my mind. I never thought those bastards would relinquish power. I’m still not so sure it’s real. I’m waiting for helicopters to hover over the White House, with black-op mercenaries rappeling down the sides to return the seats of power to those who believe they rightfully own them. Rumsfeld, Rice, Cheney, Bush, Jeb, Wolfowitz, Tenet, Powell, DeLay, Perle, Bolton, Kristol, Rove, Gonzales and Hannity all smashing through the windows of the Oval Office in black tights, peeling off their dark ski masks as Michelle and her daughters scream for their lives. Barak has gone out for a smoke (another reason I like him) but is soon arrested, hooded and whisked away in a chopper to face a kangaroo tribunal at a CIA "black site".

I’m conspiratorially bent however and such scenarios come easily for me.

You have to understand, the closest I have come in my lifetime to a President who reflects my worldview is a pussy chasing yahoo from Arkansas, a Jesus freak from Georgia and a corrupt, dog-kicking asshole from the plains of Texas who mired us in Vietnam. Add to that, I absolutely abhor the South.

I have never had anyone in a position of political power to speak for me.

When Gore Vidal and Noam Chomsky form a ticket, please let me know.

I am a Northeast intellectual. My candidates barely make it past the New Hampshire primary before they‘re called out as faggots, communists or pagans.

As a result, the ascension of Barak Obama early on in the last Presidential race (which I think began sometime between 1884 and 1993 according to the bags under my eyes) came as a hopeful diversion for me.

Here was a guy who was handsome, stunningly smart and superficially liberal (just like me) who had a shot at the U.S. Presidency (unlike me). My opium addiction and predilection for prostitutes has kept me from running for any serious office.

But now, after Barak’s success, who knows?

Hell, if a black guy can get in, anything’s possible, right?

Didn’t MLK address that? Something about a dream? Or a mountain? “Ain’t no mountain high enough”. Nah, that was The Supremes. I forget. It’s the opium.

Anyway, I watched a bit of the festivities at the inauguration, although most of it was hard to hear over the audacious loudness of Aretha Franklin’s hat and Chris Matthew‘s ego.

What I did hear that the broadcasting people tried so hard to mask was the unmistakable boos and jeers directed toward George W. Bush when he was introduced for his speech. Why no crowd shots or good audio then? Why no burning effigies for that matter? Or an impromptu lynching? Did they still box the protesters in a roped off pasture two and half miles away until the monarch was finished? Isn’t that SOP?

I also noticed Dick Cheney showing up in handicapped regalia.

A goddamn wheelchair?!!!!

I knew the man had no shame but, really?

Pulled a muscle moving boxes? … the fuck?

I’m a poor jag off and even I hire out for that.

Has this man no shame?

Such is his evil and need for absolution that he would take the glorious day of another and try to elicit sympathy for himself.

Particularly with the current atmosphere of “war criminal” being bandied about. No matter, we’ll just make the gallows “wheelchair accessible”.

There’s a real hot place in someone else’s afterlife for that prick. Or a real, cold, dank place in my basement, chained to a pole.

The inauguration itself will be more notable over time for what it symbolized (as probably will Obama’s Presidency) rather than anything actually spoken or done. The new President’s speech was peppered with the same message of unity, bipartisanship, pulling together, tough struggles ahead and patience that he has accentuated all along and any leader facing this current clusterfuck would be a fool not to mention.

It was a testament to his character and forgiving nature.

Let’s get this straight right away. I campaigned for Obama. Not in the traditional sense of “campaigning”. I spoke loudly while drunk at local bars regarding who to vote for and who to throw out of office. I led extremely persuasive voting information drives via nasty e-mails to my relatives and those on my Hotmail contact list who I thought might go Republican. I threw things out of my car window at roadside supporters for McCain/Palin. I stopped speaking to my neighbors who posted pro-Republican lawn signs. I continued to hate the right people through all the proper channels that I knew of, joining mailing lists to stop the helicopter shooting of wolves in Alaska to calling Sarah Palin a “dumb fucking Jesus freak” right here in these web pages. Damn it, I gave a lot.

Anyway, I don’t find Barak to be a saint or savior or anything of the kind. He is a shrewd and intelligent politician and man. Hell, he defeated the Clintons. You need to be a beast slayer of Tolkien status for that alone. Do I think he’s going to be a great President? I doubt it. The expectations are too high and the problems are too deep. He is a bright guy, a bit too centrist for my tastes, but I’m sure he’ll conduct himself competently at the very least. What is important for the healing and growth of this country is that the idea of Barak Obama became reality.

With that said, he simply needs to grow a pair with regard to “The Prosecutions”.

I am not so forgiving or quick to forget transgressions cast upon me or executed in my name.

There is the burning question out there as to what to do with the common and international criminals of the former administration.

But let’s just backburner that for a moment. Huge, delicate political issue, not easily resolved.

I’d like to discuss what we are going to do with the people who were the real cause of the present national ills.

Not the terrorists.

Not the bankers, mortgage houses or Wall Street investors.

Not a Democratic or Republican Congress.

Not an auto industry with a short-sighted business model and an outstretched palm.

Not Britney Spears or the waning popularity of American Idol.

Not even George W. Bush himself.

It lies in the dumb, selfish, hateful, myopic, political rubes who voted for Bush in 2004.

You know who you are. And yet, you still think you have the right to give political advice to anyone. Or elbow in on a discussion of national importance. Or actually think you should have had the right to vote in 2008.

Where I’m from, if someone fucks up that bad, if their choices become that reckless, they have the humility and sense to admit they were wrong, reassess their own shortcomings and try to perform better in the future. You looked into the black, empty, soulless, shark-like eyes of George W. Bush for four years and decided he was doing a bang up job. As far as the polls went for the 2008 Presidential election, not many of you were remorseful even then. Hell, dang, and shitfire, you went out and made the same mistake again; three times in eight years.

You failed the political GED of 2004 and decided to bitch that the whole testing system was the problem, not you or your answers. Republicans weren’t to blame for this mess, you professed. It’s the “politics” that’s corrupt. All of the bastards were no damn good. Not just the ones you voted for.

Despite the Republicans holding unprecedented power for the past eight years and you having no problem with their greedy rampages of the last twenty-eight.

You are the people who were left out yesterday. The old, the selfish, the angry and the pious white. The pouters who took their ball and went home. The reactionary onlookers, still befuddled by the fact that America is no longer quite so willing to buy into your stagnated ideology on morality and race or the financial inequities of a capitalist system run amok. You must have watched in disbelief (and dread) as millions upon millions of people of all colors and creeds were galvanized to celebrate the election of a man who less than three months ago you found as an uppity nigger, a crooked Chicago politician, a pal of a terrorist, a radical Muslim, an inexperienced socialist or in one sad case, at a McCain rally, … an A-Rab.

It is hard to imagine, on a day of such historical proportion, uniqueness and occasion for joyousness, that a large portion of the American population doesn’t get the ramifications of the moment. Instead, they view it as a bitter political, social and religious defeat, ruing the day that the nation could come to this sorry state.

It is to them that I dedicate this piece.

Those who voted for George W. Bush in 2004.

And to the 25% who still hold onto the lie that he is a great man and leader; those who find the blind path of “American Exceptionalism” a way of life; the god-fearing, the willfully ignorant, the dumb and the mean.

This one’s for you. Welcome your new leader, President Barak Obama.

And suck on it, Pigs.

I just hope I get a chance to urinate on your skull before I put a bullet through your eye.

Bring on the revolution and the cleansing.

Gosh, Liberals really do turn fascistic when empowered don’t they?