Conservative Protestors Fall Victim to Prank

Conservatives Confused by “Tea Party” Prank

While many reactionaries are miffed and embarrassed by the poor showing at the recent nationwide “Tea Party” protests, a smaller faction of conservatives are even angrier.
Many claim they fell victim to nefarious pranks called “Teabaggin’ Parties” in and around the collegiate campuses of areas where the rallies were held.
Enticed by come-ons of misplaced anger and “all the teabags you need to make a statement”, unknowing Republicans/tax-dodgers willingly entered frat houses and dorms across the country.
They were then plied with drink and false promises, awakening the next morning to some very regrettable photos.
“It was like shooting fish in a barrel”, crowed Matt Landers of the Sigma Nu chapter at Florida State. “They were excitable, thirsty for blood and took quickly to the alcohol. We talked about liberal professors, creeping socialism, the unfortunate lack of book burning, the unjust burden of recognizing the poor as human and then simply waited for them to pass out. The rest was just unzip, point and shoot.”
Many of the testicularized victims said they were planning to sue, but admitted that the publishing of photos with “TOOL” written in indelible marker on their cheeks and large ballsacks perched atop their heads and dipped into their gaping maws might dissuade them from legal action.
Glenn Beck called the pranks “unfair and un-American”, sobbed openly and promised to start a new grassroots movement to take back the nation from those who would “put the celebration of their scrotums ahead of this country’s dangerous lurch toward communism.”
The “grassroots” movement will be wholly funded by a number of large corporations and promoted endlessly by the Fox News Network.